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It's the Super Fun Xperia W Amazeballs! Why Android Names Tend to Suck

Steven Blum
0

 

Samsung Galaxy X1000, Motorola Droid Pro X2 V3, Sony Xperia 2X 3. What do all these names have in common? Well, they're all fake phone names that are sadly so bad that they just as might as well be real! Now that we've had a bit of time to play around with the Android Name Generator, I think it's fair to say that the average Internet nobody could create a totally derivative Android device name just by combining a few different words and adding lots of Xs, Vs, and numbers like "2". When will the madness end? When manufacturers hire branding teams! Here's a list of our most hated Android names:

Put a Letter Next to It! Example: Sony Xperia U

Really guys? Sony Xperia....U? How long did it take you to come up with that one? I'm guessing around 4 seconds. I get it, I get it: you're awfully proud of that Xperia moniker and you can't possibly part with it after pumping millions of dollars into overblown Sony marketing campaigns. But nobody (and I mean NOBODY) outside the small devoted following of total Android nerds, is going to be able to tell the difference between a Sony Xperia S, P, or U based on their names. It's even hard for me to decide which one is which. Also see: HTC One S, HTC One V, HTC One X

Add a Superlative! Example: Samsung Galaxy S Advance

The Samsung Galaxy S was a great phone, the Samsung Galaxy S2 was even better, but when you simply add a word like "advance" to the end of your phone name, you're not really helping anyone out here. Again, this comes down to bad branding: it's lazy to assume the consumer is so in love with the Galaxy brand that they'll buy anything with "Galaxy" in the title, even if you've barely changed anything about the device. Also, words like Advanced, XL, XE, may mean something today but they probably will have little meaning a few months (or even weeks) from now, when the phone is already outdated. Also see: HTC Sensation XL, HTC Sensation XE, HTC Droid Incredible

Make the Consumer Feeeeel the POWER of the Phone. Example: HTC Amaze

Exhilerating, fascinating, amazing. All of these emotions could describe the time you met the love of your life, time you walked your first steps or graduated from college. Or, of course, they could describe your phone. Am I the only one a bit turned off by names like the HTC Amaze, Samsung Fascinate or HTC Inspire? I mean, I've felt many things for a phone (mostly lust...) but rarely ever fascination or amazement, and it's not like simply naming it that is going to make me feel such things. Like, "It's the HTC Amaze, BE AMAZED!" doesn't automatically conjure that feeling inside of me. And it's a little lofty of an aspiration, ain't it? Also see: HTC Sensation, Samsung Exhilerate, Samsung Replenish (which just makes me feel thirsty).

Conclusion:

It's hard out there for a marketer. How do you tell the story of a phone in one word? I sympathize, but I think many Android names leave a lot to be desired, especially those that just slap an "X2," or "XL" on to an older model's name. Just try a little harder...it's all I'm asking. 

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