does anyone know how to stop all the spam messages coming through on my phone on a daily basis, they seem to come from a dating site and a competition stating that I have won an ipad!!!! the charges on these things are ridiculous and I want to know how to stop them coming through, it shows a green star in my icon screen!

Sounds like you have an air push ads app. See this post http://www.androidpit.com/en/android/forum/thread/426485/getting-a-star-in-notification-bar

Search the market for air push detector for apps to get rid of the problem app.