"Jellybean" Software Update was a TERRIBLE Decision, Want to go Back to "Ice Cream Sandwich" !!!!!!

I have never had a smart phone before about 6 months ago - and finally got used to this one.
Anyway, I was prompted for a software update yesterday evening. Didn't think much of it, hit update, waited the ~15mins and reboot time.
Nevertheless, I was SHOCKED when the phone was functional again:
It was literally like a whole new phone. I made a list and could name NUMEROUS things I absolutely hated about it. I am an incredibly particular person as well (and obsessive compulsive.) Notably, the OK and Cancel buttons were flipped in various screens - WHO DESIGNED THIS AND CHANGES SUCH IMPORTANT BUTTONS ??
I was very close to throwing my phone out the car window.

Well the next day I immediately went to one local Verizon store, which informed me there was nothing they could do. I just wanted to go back in time, and erase the update I had done!!! Shouldn't be THAT difficult.....!!
He gave me LG customer service number, even though the problem seemed to be a DROID operating system one. This was ruining my day. I called and was told they could do nothing also. I told him I was smashing my phone and hung up.
I then proceeded to go to yet another local Verizon store, and after hearing my story the very helpful gentleman informed me that he too hated the new update and knew how to switch back (after doing so on his phone.) He stated that he could not do it for me though.

I got informed I was running a program called Ice Cream Sandwich v 4.0.1 but that had now been changed to Jelly Bean v. 4.0.4.
He instructed me to search on google and find the executable ICS file, and download it. This would allow me to install and "flash" back to previous version.
I read the file was approx 384MB so quite large. I also saw some directions online that required a computer to download, go into the downloaded folder, then eventually transfer to phone via USB cable - he mentioned nothing of this....?!?!

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING & SEARCHING online for hours now but cannot find this fricking program to download. I don't want to involve a computer, just want to download directly on my phone. Can someone please LINK ME a file sharing program or website that I can begin this download from ???
It is now 9PM and I almost feel like I've wasted an entire day. I have searched every term under the sun:
how to download ice cream sandwich
download ice cream sandwich android
lg lucid download ice cream sandwich
ice cream sandwich software for lg lucid
ice cream sandwich rom lg lucid
droid ice cream sandwich program file
ice cream sandwich version 4.0
download ice cream sandwich 4.0
where to download ice cream sandwich from
where can i download ice cream sandwich 4.0
help finding ice cream sandwich 4.0
droid ice cream sandwich for lg lucid
Plus about 30 others, going through about 10 google pages on each term. FRUSTRATING AS HELL.

Thanks for all your help folks - and UP YOURS Android Jellybean developers, your program sucks!!!!!!

Great idea with the launcher.
Thanks for the Insightful reply bud!!