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An Ode To Android (Poem) Part II: Patents, Crack, And Jelly Beans
Samsung Galaxy Tab Samsung Apple 3 min read 14 comments

An Ode To Android (Poem) Part II: Patents, Crack, And Jelly Beans


It’s Friday, I’m glad the weekend is here, and I feel like droppin some more poetic lyrics on our readers. The last poem I did got a few laughs, so I thought I would drop another one to ease us into the weekend. This one (again) deals with Apple, as well as crack, patents, Jelly Beans, and more. Without further adieu, I present: An Ode to Android Part II: Patents, Crack, and Jelly Beans.


Oh Apple my Apple...it’s been a long time
Since I’ve wrote you a letter...with some lyrical rhymes
But I’m back once again...to shed light on the fact
That this week in the courts...a judge said you smoked crack

I laughed so hard I cried...it was really too much
When Judge Koh told your lawyers...just how bad you **cked up
See you’re wasting our time...with your patent charade
No your frivolous lawsuits...they will not get you paid

Here’s what happened I think...how the dumbness all started
First your iPhone came out...made some noise in all markets
It was new, it was sleek...you were king of the hill!
“Oh My God we’re so awesome!...”this is great what a thrill!”

Then your arrogance started...”we can never be beat!”
“Everyone has an iPhone”...”it’s the king of the streets!”
Then you smirked and you partied...and you danced and you sung
And you gloated with joy...then along came Samsung

Samsung said “nice idea”...”the concept of your phone”
“But we’ll make ours much better”...”we’ll build one on our own”
“Competition is good!”...”Yeah there’s room for us both”
And that’s when my dear Apple...your whole strategy broke

The S2 and the Note...yeah they scared you for real
And you learned the first time...how the Android sting feels
Then the S3 came out...and then all hell broke loose
Samsung smashed you so hard...that they made Apple juice

 You said “no this can’t be!”...”it is time to attack!”
“There can be only one”...”time for us to strike back!”
“Let's use all of our billions”...to sue Samsung in court”
“We’ll destroy competition”...”to keep our losses short!”

So you whined to the court...”lookie judge it’s unfair”
“See their Galaxy Tab?”...”How it looks like a square?”
“See they gave it a screen”...”How can you allow this?”
“Only we can have tablets”...”That have icons and **it!”

And that’s all that you’ve done...you can not stand the fact
That the public loves Sammy...no you can’t cope with that!
IOS looks so old...it’s outdated you see
What you need is an update...something like Jelly Bean

Google’s whoopin your ass...Samsung’s doin it’s thing
Android’s loved by the world...for the products it brings
So keep suing and crying...cause that’s all you can do
But I’m sure that you know...you’ll eventually lose

I respect what you’ve made...I give credit where due
But your phone is outdated...and your old software too
So get busy dear fruit...yes it’s time to create!
And don’t ever forget...who put you in your place (Android)

Have a good weekend everyone :-D

Picture credits: www.androidstickers.com and www.eyelk.com/


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  • :-D

  •   8
    Deactivated Account Aug 20, 2012 Link to comment

    @bits +1

  • LOL! Glad you enjoyed it bits!

  • bits Aug 20, 2012 Link to comment

    can someone please forward this to judge koh ?
    love it!!

  • @TiMo - CM10 is coming along nicely. AOKP builds too. I am also a Paranoid Andriod fan. Was on it for months actually. Once you understand how to adjust the app dpi settings, its really so much fun.

    @Imran LOL?

  • Imran Aug 20, 2012 Link to comment

    very good to a degree that i support koh that also you smoke crak when writing in a good way

  • Ti Mo Aug 19, 2012 Link to comment


    No I haven't tried it out, cause I just flashed paranoid for the first time and playing around with it :)

  • Thanks bro! Glad you enjoyed it :-)

  • chinu Aug 18, 2012 Link to comment

    nice 1...... Eric....
    Very beautifully written....

  • Thanks Patrick, and welcome to AndroidPIT!

    I totally agree with you there. Apple is desperate, which always triggers irrational behavior. Sometimes I really wonder if their own lawyers actually agree that their current strategy is actually even worth it?!

    @Timo- Which ROM is that bro? Nice one! You tried it out yet?

  • Nice one. I recently came across this site through pulse. Articles are generally well thought of, interesting and with just the right amount of healthy bias (so far no overboard android fanboyism).

    The apple samsung court case is a waste of resources. Apple could have done something more productive with the money. I seriously hope though that they come up with something brilliant for the iPhone 5 which will force Google and its OEMs to up their game some more. Unfortunately, all they can hope for is to catch up with Android and Samsung, HTC etc. but maybe they can pull something out of the bag or scrape something from the bottom of the barrel.

  • Ti Mo Aug 18, 2012 Link to comment

  • Thanks Nick! Glad you liked it :-)

  •   8
    Deactivated Account Aug 17, 2012 Link to comment

    Lol! You've summed up the situation brilliantly, Eric. Nicely done!