Over 1100 jokes and witty remarks about alcohol and drugs. Send to your friends via email and SMS. *Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too. *Warning, these jokes contain swearing and ...Read more
Over 1100 jokes and witty remarks about alcohol and drugs. Send to your friends via email and SMS.
*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.
*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*
*New jokes added weekly *Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app. *Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.) *This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app *Share with SMS/Email *Random joke button *Hold the left arrow to go back to the start *Hold the right arrow to go to the end *Link to developer’s other apps in the market *Change the size of the text *Change the color of the text *Change the style of the text *Change the background *Rate the app
Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):
"I hate people who take drugs... Such as Policemen, Customs Officers, etc..."
"THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Donner kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry. 5. ..."
"Beer vs. Vagina 1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER 2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA 3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER 4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA 5. ..."
"My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night. First question was, "What the f**k are YOU looking at?""
"An 'alcoholic' on the Jeremy Kyle Show just admitted to drinking 'eight or nine cans a day.'
F*****g p***y, I can drink that in four hours."
*****Disclaimer***** Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offence caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.
Do you have a question about this app?
UPDATED ON: Sep 15, 2013
INSTALLATIONS: 100,000 - 500,000
LATEST VERSION: 3.3.7
REQUIRED ANDROID VERSION: 1.6 and up
full Internet access
Allows an application to create network sockets.
view network state
Allows an application to view the state of all networks.
modify/delete SD card contents
Allows an application to write to the SD card.
read phone state and identity
Allows the application to access the phone features of the device. An application with this permission can determine the phone number and serial number of this phone, whether a call is active, the number that call is connected to, ect.
precise (GPS) location
Access precise location sources such as the Global Positioning System on the phone, where available. Malicious applications can use this to determine where you are, and may consume additional battery power.