750+ Lawyer jokes, if you are or know a lawyer then shame on you! only joking, but probably best not to download these joke if you offend easily. *Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit ...Read more
750+ Lawyer jokes, if you are or know a lawyer then shame on you! only joking, but probably best not to download these joke if you offend easily.
*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.
*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*
*New jokes added weekly *Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app. *Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.) *This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app *Share with SMS/Email *Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites. *Random joke button *Hold the left arrow to go back to the start *Hold the right arrow to go to the end *Link to developer’s other apps in the market *Change the size of the text *Change the color of the text *Change the style of the text *Change the background *Rate the app
Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):
"Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy. "
"Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? To practice."
"A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral.""
"A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. 'That's unfair!' he cried. 'I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.' 'Shut up,' barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork. 'Who are you to question that woman's punishment?\'"
"What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline."
N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.
*****Disclaimer***** Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.
Do you have a question about this app?
UPDATED ON: Sep 19, 2013
INSTALLATIONS: 10,000 - 50,000
LATEST VERSION: 3.3.5
REQUIRED ANDROID VERSION: 1.6 and up
full Internet access
Allows an application to create network sockets.
view network state
Allows an application to view the state of all networks.
modify/delete SD card contents
Allows an application to write to the SD card.
read phone state and identity
Allows the application to access the phone features of the device. An application with this permission can determine the phone number and serial number of this phone, whether a call is active, the number that call is connected to, ect.
precise (GPS) location
Access precise location sources such as the Global Positioning System on the phone, where available. Malicious applications can use this to determine where you are, and may consume additional battery power.