Random Jokes, A large collection of funny jokes on many different topics. *Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too. *Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult ...Read more
Random Jokes, A large collection of funny jokes on many different topics.
*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.
*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*
*New jokes added weekly *Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app. *Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.) *This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app *Share with SMS/Email *Random joke button *Hold the left arrow to go back to the start *Hold the right arrow to go to the end *Link to developer’s other apps in the market *Change the size of the text *Change the color of the text *Change the style of the text *Change the background *Rate the app
Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):
"BBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision. F**k, how fast must they have been walking?"
"Do you ever wonder where people got their surnames from? Perhaps Mr Baker was a baker, Mr Butcher was a butcher and Mr Butler was a butler etc. How very apt then that my name is Mr Dickinson!"
"Ponderisms: Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? ..."
"Some of the finest double-entendres that were aired on British TV and Radio. 1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." 3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is a really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford Crew." 5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!" 6. ..."
"I nearly s**t my pants on the tube this morning. It was okay though, I managed to pull them down just in the nick of time."
N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.
*****Disclaimer***** Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.
Do you have a question about this app?
UPDATED ON: Sep 26, 2013
INSTALLATIONS: 10,000 - 50,000
LATEST VERSION: 3.3.5
REQUIRED ANDROID VERSION: 1.6 and up
full Internet access
Allows an application to create network sockets.
view network state
Allows an application to view the state of all networks.
modify/delete SD card contents
Allows an application to write to the SD card.
read phone state and identity
Allows the application to access the phone features of the device. An application with this permission can determine the phone number and serial number of this phone, whether a call is active, the number that call is connected to, ect.
precise (GPS) location
Access precise location sources such as the Global Positioning System on the phone, where available. Malicious applications can use this to determine where you are, and may consume additional battery power.