Share Some Funny Jokes With The Community

The staff at AndroidPIT had a meeting today and we decided that since this part of the forum is not doing as well as we would like, we are increasing our attention in this area.

Everyone could use a good laugh, and I'll go ahead and get us started with a joke I read just today. You are encouraged to share funny jokes that you have heard:

A Pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along.
Pizza thought: Ok, I'll let him pass, there's no hurry.
Two minutes later another Whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, Pizza stopped him:
"What's going on out there?" Pizza asked.
"Why, there's a party going on! It's great. They're having the most fun!!"
The Whiskey replied and Pizza said: "Great, I'll go check it out!"

— modified on Apr 29, 2010, 4:04:13 PM

Saw this joke today. I used to fly planes, so I thought it was interesting. Trust when I saw that it doesn't work like that ;)

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.
Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle.
The copilot is using a guide dog.
Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke.
After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness.
They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking.
Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once.
At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"

Have you ever noticed... anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster is a maniac.
George Carlin

Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.

He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube?"

http://www.thejokeyard.com/funny_jokes/freds_note.html

A man went into a bar and there's this old man just sitting there looking at a bowl of chili. so the guy goes up to the old man and says, "Can I have that chili?"



"You just go ahead," says the old man.



So the man eats the chili and it's the best chili he's ever eaten. But at the bottom of the bowl, he notices a dead mouse, so he barfs the chili back up into the bowl.



The old man looks over and says, "Yep, that's about as far as I got too."

http://www.funnyjokes.org/Chili580_J.aspx