NEW TO SMART PHONES AND I CAN'T COPE -- PHONE WILL BE SMASHED WITH HAMMER VERY SOON!

Hello everybody,
I renewed a contract 2 years ago and received a smart phone. I was so frustrated with it that within a week I had smashed it with a hammer and reverted to my old Nokia.
2 years on and this week I have renewed my contract but didn't want another smart phone (because in my experience they are anything but). Unfortunately I was told I had to have one.
It has now arrived ............................................... Please help me before I put a hammer through this bloody thing too!!!

Q.1) why do I have to go through so many hoops in order to make a phonecall? It took just 2 actions with my old Nokia to make a call. With this thing though I have to press the side power button to 'wake it up', then I have to swipe the screen to unlock it (why on Earth doesn't 'wake up' also unlock it? You are waking it up in order to make an action so you need it unlocked), then press the green 'phone' icon, then choose who I want to call then press the call button. 5 actions as opposed to 2 on my previous non-smart phone. Is there any way of reducing these actions in order to make a call?

Q.2) As soon as I make a call, the phone immediately locks itself. Absolutely useless for calling my voicemail, or calling any companies customer service when you have to negotiate number options/menu's to speak to the person/department you are after. By the time I have worked out how to get my screen back again, the options have passed and I have to start over again! Occasionally I can keep it live for a second or two and press an option number, but the screen then goes black before I can negotiate the next menu!!! How do I keep the screen 'live' ALL the time, both for pressing numbers in companies options menu's but also when making ANY phonecall in order to press the red 'End Call' button when my conversation has ended. Trying to work out how to get the screen back in order to end a call is a nightmare.

Q.3) Why on Earth is it so damned difficult to power the thing off?????????? With my old Nokia I just kept the power button pressed and it switched off automatically. With this sodding thing I keep the power button pressed and it gives me 3 options - Silent Mode, Flight Mode and Power Off. I could cope with this if by pressing the 'Power Off' button the phone shut down, but no, after pressing this 'Power Off' button and telling it to shut down it then questions my action by then asking if I really want to shut the bloody thing down or cancel my action. Why would I want to cancel an action I have deliberately started????? Is there a short cut to power it off?

There's plenty of other things annoying me about this piece of crap, but these 3 questions are the most important for now.
Forgive my tone, but at 54 years of age I want things easy in my life. I don't want any more hassle than is necessary!
Is there an easier and quicker way to shut it down, make a call, and to keep the screen active? Otherwise I'll shut the ******* thing down for good with a hammer. I've done it before, and by God I'll do it again!!
Pete

Well, as advised here I took the phone to a 'Three' store today as that's who my carrier is ......... and they flatly refused to help me.
There were 5 assistants and just one couple (together) in store so it's not like I was tying an assistant up who could otherwise be making some sales. But every moan I had they shrugged their shoulders and said 'That's how the phone is built' / 'That's how the phone works' or 'It's not our fault you don't like it'.
So one last chance folks, please give me tips to get around the following gripes otherwise I will be hammering the f*** out of it and sending half the bits to Samsung and the other half to Three with covering letters about how useless their phones are.
1) Why oh why does it take 5 actions in order to make a phone call? Retrograde step or what! My ancient Nokia took just 3 (or 2 if the number I wanted to call happened to be the last dialled number). Surely there must be an easier/faster way of making a call?
2) Why oh why when I press the side (wake up?) button do I then have to unlock the screen by swiping it? Surely the swipe should be made redundant as the action of pressing the side button should tell the phone I want to use one of it's features, and in order to do so the thing must be unlocked!! Why can't the one button do the 2 actions (wake-up & unlock)? Surely this is yet another retrograde step over older phones?
3) The thing that angers me most is that as soon as you make a call and the connection is made, the damned thing automatically locks itself. What a crap idea! Often I call my voicemail for which I need the keypad. Other times I need to ring companies only to be met with an options menu - another time when I need the keypad. Even to end the call I am making I need the thing unlocked in order to press the big red button so why the bloody hell isn't there an option to delete the 'Lock-Screen' option? I have the phone connected to my car. The whole idea of in-car phones is that they should be hands free - so how does that tie in with having to always double tap the screen to unlock the bloody thing?? Please, please, please will somebody tell me a way to get rid of this most stupid (and if driving, downright bloody dangerous) idea.
4) I tried inputting a new contact ................ Oh my God, what a calamity that turned out to be. When you press the Given/Family name options up comes the QWERTY keyboard ..... BUT the ONLY options are inputting numbers, or the predictive text option!!!!! You try inputting a surname under predictive text!! As with ALL text messages predictive text is utter shite. Why is this useless option persevered with by manufacturers? It never types the words you want. How the hell do I get rid of predictive text and make it so that I am able to input the exact letters I press??????
5) Is there an easier way to turn the thing off? Old Nokia (at least a decade old) - keep power button pressed and off it goes - no nonsense, no faffing around, just one action and it does exactly what you want it to do!
With this shitty thing you press the power button and up comes a sub menu consisting of 'Silent Mode', 'Flight Mode' and 'Power Off'. Although it would be an extra action over my old Nokia, I would accept this if after pressing the Power Off option in this sub menu the thing did indeed power off. But no, the sarcastic bastard of a machine then questions my actions by then asking me to confirm or cancel my decision! Why this extra piece of nonsense? I told the sodding thing 2 actions ago that I wanted to turn it off so why is it still questioning me? Is there a way of over-riding this final (sub - sub) menu?
You all appear to be clever young people so please help this ignorant old bastard otherwise Mr Galaxy Pocket will be meeting Mr Hammer ............... many, many times!

Unfortunately it's a brand new contract so I'm stuck with 'Three' for 2 more years! But yes, I fully intend to switch providers when this contract comes up for renewal.
Call me stupid, but I can't find anything you mentioned.
There isn't a 'Screen Lock' in the Settings menu, There is a 'Set screen lock' in 'Location and Security' and I've set that to 'None' but there isn't a 'With swipe lock' option so I cannot uncheck it.
By 'Phone App' I can only assume you mean the green square with the phone icon, but if so I cannot find 'Call Settings' and therefore cannot uncheck anything you suggest.
There is a 'Call Settings' in the actual Settings menu, but the only options there-in are 1) Fixed Dialling Numbers, 2) Voicemail, 3) Voicemail Number, 4) Call Forwarding and 5) Additional Settings - and this only brings up 2 more items - Caller ID + Call Waiting.
Remember mate, you are dealing with a middle aged techno-phobe!
Under 'Accessibility' I have 'Accessibility' (enable or disable options), something called 'TalkBack' which I haven't explored and 'The power key ends call' which is checked, nothing about 'Lock Automatically' which you suggest.
I have a Samsung Galaxy Pocket (GT-S5300) running Android version 2.3.6 if that helps? I think all your fixes must apply to either a different phone or a different Android version.
I have downloaded & installed Number Pad Keyboard as you suggested but have yet to try it - but what is T9 which you refer to?
And yes by powering off I mean totally shutting down. I fail to see why it should take 3 actions to shut it down when my old Nokia took just the one.
Thanks for your help so far - but to be honest, it hasn't helped at all really because I can't seem to find the menu's/features that you refer to.
Pete