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2 min read 7 comments

5 Things You Can Do Now Instead of Freaking Out Over the iPhone 5

It's that time again: the iPhone 5 is about to be announced live in San Francisco. If you're an Android fan, you're probably bored by the prospect of a modestly refreshed phone, so here's a list of other things you can do instead of watching the presentation. After all, there are more important things in the world than a new phone. Right? Here's what to do:

Buy new toilet paper

...the snuggly swoft kind.

Finally get that haircut

...and throw a party in the back.


Watch Top Chef Masters

..because it starts at 10AM PT, which is exactly when Tim Cook will start blabbering about iOS's "amazing growth" in the iPhone 5 presentation.


Play "Granny Smith" on your Android

..and steal all the apples.

Watch this hilarious iPhone 5 parody

...And laugh as Tim Cook starts crying tears of joy after being handed a black turtleneck by Steve Jobs the hologram.

(Bonus!) Think about the things that really matter in this world...

...Like this tube that can hold rice.

...or the fact that this man-made robot is still conveyer-belting its way across the Mars landscape

Or the fact that the Euro may soon collapse and the Iranian nuclear program is probably not for peaceful purposes, and AIDS still exists and Barack Obama needs to defeat Mitt Romney, etc., etc...

(Top photo: bigbullinachinashop.blogspot.com, third photo: crazyamingo.com)


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  • On a more serious note, I'd like to see one proof of Iran's military intent on nuclear technology. Just one.

  • Congratulations APPLE ... you just made your iPhone3,4,4s obsolete (let the APPLE CULT aka Fan Base panic that they don't have 4G LTE until it is legally patent approved (lol) ...

  • Rolfhu Sep 13, 2012 Link to comment

    Next innovation step should be, improve the user, haha. Most of all this new things don't add actually value for the user, only for Apple :-D

  • @Patrick - Funny thing is they've addressed everything that interests me least. iOS has proven itself. It's gonna run great no matter what hardware it gets. Now how 'bout making it fun again.....

  • Dvoraak, it's not just a faster processor, THE A6 has 2x CPU power and 2x graphics performance... Hell, they could have said 100x more CPU Power*

    *compared to an 8086XT running PC Dos 3.2

  • lol great article!

  • Taller display, better camera (sorta), higher resolution, faster processor, extra row of icons, fix Siri......

    YAHOO!!!!!! Let's hear it for innovation!!!!